"Mother’s Day is hard for me. Hearing a baby cry anywhere causes a sudden, sharp pain in my heart. Having to ex-plain to my living children was a diffi-cult thing to do."

In 1986, I was a single mother when I learned I was pregnant again. I was 20-years-old, and I had a two-year-old daughter. The father of my baby told me I had to get rid of the "problem." My best friend decided to help me by making the appointment for me to have an abortion. She drove me to and from the abortion facility.  

The father and my friend also helped to pay for the procedure, but I went along with it. I was re-sponsible for the final decision. The strange thing is that all during the decision process, no one ever called the “problem” a baby. They used terms such as “terminate the pregnancy,” “get rid of the prob-lem,” and “fix the situation.” No one talked to me about the stages of fetal development from the very moment of fertilization.

The pain of the abortion must have been too much for my mind and heart to deal with. I blocked it out for 13 years and didn’t have any memory of the abortion. However, I suffered through a major depression for years and had many anxiety attacks

I accepted the Lord into my life and my heart in 1996. In 1998, I was listening to a program on the radio called “Tilly.” Even though I only heard the last 10 minutes or so, I quickly realized it was about an aborted baby. I began to yell at God and tell Him, “NO, there is no way I did that. There is no way I could ever deal with that.” But as I listened, my heart began to hurt, and I felt as though a knife had pierced my heart. The pain was unbearable. I began to cry and fall to the floor. I couldn’t even stand or breathe.

I didn’t know what to do, I was in so much physical, emotional, and mental pain; I thought I would die. Then at the end of program, they said that women who have been hurt by abortion should call the nearest pregnancy care center. First thing Monday morning that is what I did. They were so caring and supportive. They did not judge me. I thought they should hate me for what I did because

at that moment I hated myself; and I was sure that God hated me too.

But I soon found out, through a wonderful abor-tion-recovery Bible study, that Jesus still loves me; and He died for me. He forgave me for my sins, even my abortion. I learned that my daughter is with the Lord and one day we will be together.

As I went through the healing process and be-gan to tell my story, I began to learn just how many women have been hurt by abortion. Nine out of ten people with whom I share my story have either had an abortion or are the father of an aborted baby.

It has been 18 years since my abortion, and my child should be graduating high school this June. I am beginning to have medical side effects because of my abortion.

Abortion has affected my family and my friends, but none of them want to talk about the horrific na-ture of abortion. But we must talk about it. Abortion must stop. Abortion hurts women and takes the life of a beautiful baby, a gift from God. Women need to know that they can be healed, forgiven, and set free. 

Mother’s Day is hard for me. Hearing a baby cry anywhere causes a sudden, sharp pain in my heart. Having to explain to my living children was a diffi-cult thing to do. Telling my parents and my siblings was also difficult. They were all understanding and supportive, but I know I’ve changed their lives for-ever as well.

Abortion became legal when I was seven-years-old. The Supreme Court made a decision in which I had no voice but one that would affect my life for-ever. I am older now, and I have a voice that I will use to speak out: “Abortion Hurts Women.”

My advice to others who have experienced the cruelty of abortion: Let your voices be heard. Give yourself permission to talk about your abortions. Let go of the shame, the pain, and the hurt. Jesus can heal you so you can then help others heal.

Maureen is the Pittsburgh, PA, Area Leader for Op-eration Outcry: Silent No More. She helps with funding raising abortion recovery counseling as a volunteer at the local pregnancy center. She is a speaker at churches and different groups and is employed as a church secretary and as the director of development for an after-school program. She lives in Coraopolis, PA with my husband Ernie and four children.

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