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Ms. magazine, post-abortive woman clash
by Matt C. Abbott - Thursday, August 10, 2006
The following is a slightly edited version of recent correspondence between Luana Stoltenberg, Iowa state leader of Operation Outcry, and the editor(s) of the virulently pro-abortion Ms. magazine.
Dear Editor,
I was informed that you are asking for people to write in about their abortion experiences. I am attaching an article I have written about my own personal experience. I am also attaching a second article that is a shorter version, but it has a short bio of me on it. I have had many interviews that have been published. Some articles that have been printed are with USA Today, The Washington Post, The Washington Times, The New York Times, Today's Christian Woman, and several others. Please consider printing this. My hope is that other women will read it and find hope.
Thank you very much,
Luana Stoltenberg
The editor(s) of Ms. magazine responded as follows:
Dear Ms. Stoltenberg —
It's too bad you didn't feel you had any choice but to have three abortions. You should have been informed by friends or family or medical personnel that you had the option to carry your fetuses to term and then give up your babies for adoption. You should have received comprehensive education about birth control, or even been informed of the option to be abstinent, so that you didn't become pregnant in the first place. But just because you had a negative experience and post-abortion regrets does not mean that the choice to have an abortion should be made illegal — or extremely difficult — for the millions of women who still would make that choice. I know you believe otherwise, but I just want you to know where the pro-choice side is coming from.
Sincerely,
The Editors
Ms. Magazine
Stoltenberg's response to Ms. magazine senior editor Michele Kort:
Dear Michele (and editors of Ms. magazine),
I wrote to you about my experience to let you know that I wasn't informed. I was only 17 years old when I had my first abortion. No one at the abortion facility told me about the risks, the procedure, fetal development, or any other options like adoption. I was the teenager; they were the supposed medical professionals. I thought I could trust them because they were the adults. That first abortion led me down a path of self destruction, attempts of suicide, and infertility.
I would think someone who claims to care about women and women's issues would truly look into the facts about what abortion is doing, and has done to the women and the men of our society over the last 34 years since it has been legal.
Your response shows no compassion whatsoever. Why am I being told to be tolerant and know your side, but you refuse to listen to my side? You have forgotten I was on your side most of my life until I tried it your (pro-choice) way. It destroyed my life. Now all I want to do is speak out and educate women on what abortion could do to them, and you are refusing to give me that voice in your magazine. How is it that you can profess to care about all women and refuse them the information to truly be educated and informed about the 'choice' they could make? That doesn't seem caring at all to me. It seems that you are driven by your agenda and not by your concern for women.
I am so sorry for all the women who will be harmed and devastated by this choice as you call it because you refused to print information for them to have the facts. That is the very reason why I made the choice I did because others refused to give me the information so I could make MY OWN CHOICE based on the facts.
Thank you,
Luana Stoltenberg
Related link: http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2006/aug/06080204.html
More letters to the editors of Ms. Magazine
Ms. Magazine Reckless Deceiving Our Youth October 4, 2006
To: Everyone at Ms. Magazine
It is my intent to very well publicize that fact that when your magazine solicited testimonies from people that had an abortion, that you explicitly asked women who had been emotionally and/or physically devastated by their abortion experience NOT to send in their testimony. It seems that your responsibility to print the entire truth about the abortion issue is enormous considering the great impact and influence your opinion has on the lives and the decisions of young girls in this country. You should not only be morally obligated, but desire and require that the whole truth and all the facts be equally represented when addressing such a serious life changing decision as abortion. This cannot be accomplished by asking for testimonies that are self fulfilling for your article.
Asking for an only one-sided testimony is in itself a clear admittance on your part that women have experienced devastation from their choice to abort their baby. A story published on AOL News on October 4, 2006, quoted a 42 year old women named Findling, who stated she is a strong supporter of your petition said “It’s emotionally devastating,” “I don’t regret my decision, but I regret having been put in the position to have to make that choice. It is something I’ll live with the rest of my life.” How can you be devastated by something and be a supporter of it at the same time? It doesn’t make sense. Her regret is having been put in the position to make the choice? If abortion were not legal, there would not be a position for her to be in to make a choice and she would not be devastated. She will have to bear the guilt of not knowing her son the rest of her life. The article also states that she has been trying to get pregnant again. It would not be a surprise if she is told in the future, like so many other women have been told, that she will not be able to bear a child due to the scaring from the abortion. There are many, many physical, psychological and emotional problems that are directly related to choosing to have an abortion.
Women and men who have experienced an abortion, have only two real choices left to make. Some will choose to work through their grief, pain, guilt and shame and know the truth, that abortion is not ever the answer, or they will have to grasp onto whatever they can to bury the guilt, pain and shame they truly feel, hidden deeply under their disguise of pride. They will continue to fight for their right to “choose” to try to reinforce to themselves that their decision to end their child’s life was a good one. These are the women that are not ready to face the truth and will fight to support the “right to choose” abortion in a desperate attempt for self preservation. They know if they allow themselves to admit their true feelings, and realize the truth of the situation, they would have to admit that they killed their child, that they were duped by the media and people who believe they are empowered some how by being able to “choose” to take the life of their child, and would have to swallow their pride. What they don’t realize is that what is buried, no matter how deep, will have to surface sometime, and that is when they will receive their healing and move to the truth and want to help others not to experience the same devastating effects the choice of abortion made on them.
I know because I have been there. I had an abortion and have been through all the feelings I described above. I picture my pain, guilt, and shame from my abortion as barbed wire buried deep under my skin, wrapped tightly around my soul and spirit, suffocating me, while my body was fighting to push it to the surface, festering with cries for help with self destructive behaviors, moodiness and anger. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to feel the pain of the barbed wire surfacing and ripping at my flesh, and admitting the truth about what I had done, that I was set free.
It took years for me to allow this to surface. It would be very interesting to call the women that have signed your petition in about 10 years and see how many of them have changed their mind. I will not be surprised when they tell me the biggest regret of their life was choosing to have an abortion, and the second biggest regret of their entire life was signing your petition.
Abortion is not merely a quick fix to a “problem”. It carries lifelong consequences that never go away.
It is an atrocity that you would purposely publish an article on this very serious life changing issue of abortion, and to be so reckless as to represent only one side, and not the whole truth. Not to mention, 5000 may seem like a large number, especially to the young girls you are deceiving, but how minute is 5000 compared to the over 40 million abortions that have been performed in this country alone. It is a very very small number.
It is my hope that you will understand the enormous responsibility your company has to communicate truthfully the entire truth about abortion, or any issue for that matter. The truth will prevail, and your article is proof that you are grasping. Abortion needs to be stopped.
Danelle Hallenbeck
Article reference: http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/ms-magazine-names-women-who-had/20061003143609990012?ncid=NWS00010000000001
Ms. Kort,
I went to your online petition and viewed that there was no place for women, such as myself, who had abortions and were not told the truth about the effects of abortion on women. This does not truly represent all women, their reasons for aborting, or their life after abortion.
I am concerned for the women, who have signed the Ms. Magazine petition, who will later regret that their "privacy" was violated, not fully understanding the consequences of their actions when what they had "chosen" to hide, told they could keep private ... their abortion ... is now exposed to the nation.
I've been working with women for the past 23 years who are post-abortive and suffering from the trauma associated with their abortion decision, including coercion and physical and emotional trauma ... such as suicide attempts after the abortion.
It's as though the pain of the suction curretage is left inside of the women's womb and penetrates her soul ... sometimes suppressed for years. It's been 33 years and my life has never been the same.
One young mom was forced to abort and entered into a psychiatric hospital three days later. She was released and within days attempted suicide ... a week later she was in my office seeking help.
I hear many of these stories and the grief, including physical damage, of these women is real, compelling and sometimes ... like myself ... can be suppressed for years. The stories of these women also need to be heard...thousands of women who regret their abortion.
What were their lives really like after abortion ... were they "really" better? Ask that question 10, 15, 30 years later. How many of these women have been hurt from the promotion that legalized abortion is safe ... and can even lead into a cycle of depression, addiction, loss of worth, and repeat abortions?
As I've been told, many times ..."something died inside of me that day ...i t wasn't just my baby ... it was my soul ... the soul of a woman ..."
Cindy Collins
Cindy Collins is the Operation Outcry State leader for Louisiana
Dear Ms. Magazine Editor,
My abortion experience was only six years ago. What happened to me is still happening to women across this nation we have been and still are being greatly misinformed. My experience was one where the counselor told me that I was 9-1/2 to 10 weeks pregnant and that my baby was just a "blob of tissue." The procedure only included mild cramping, which it did not- I was in a lot of pain. I was "counseled" into believing that I was doing the right thing and that it was really the best way out. No other options were ever discussed and I was lied to about my baby.
Two days after the procedure I was cramping severely and went to the bathroom. I looked down because I felt as though I passed something and in my hand was my fully formed tiny baby. I was mortified when I saw little feet and hands. I called the abortion facility immediately and all they said to me was, "too bad," and they hung up on me. I wasn't told I should see my doctor or any other advice and therefore tried to forget the whole incident. The problem is women cannot forget their incidents- even women who write to you and tell you they are happy with their decision. I suffered deep down for a long time and ended up with stomach problems and depression because of it. If abortion was good for women this wouldn't be happening and we wouldn't be lied to. If abortion is good, then why the lies? Women need protection from abortion, just as much as the children.
Thank you for your time,
Kelly Roy
Kelly is the New Hampshire Operation Outcry State Leader
Dear Editor:
Thank you for offering the opportunity to share about my abortion experience in 1977 at age 18. Struggling financially as a single parent, my mom did not offer me much of a choice and convinced me that abortion was best for my situation.
Before the procedure, I was informed that abortion was a surgical operation with significant risks to my health. I was not informed, however, that I would actually go into labor and deliver a 14-week fetus alone in a hospital room. This shocking image overshadowed any relief I felt for ending a crisis unplanned pregnancy.
Although he successfully destroyed my baby's physical body, the abortionist did not destroy the nurturing connection that had formed between us. Despite years of extensive counseling, I experienced unexplained chronic grieving over the loss of this baby, a baby aborted to protect my own life from shame and inconvenience.
Recently, I mustered enough courage to share my story and join those who admittedly regret their abortion. My personal desire is to let others know that abortion destroyed not just a baby, it destroyed a mother's heart.
After truthful soul-searching, I now realize that every right, including a woman's right to privacy, comes with responsibilities. In this case, my responsibility for a tiny human life. The humble beginning we all share.
Very truly yours,
Kathy Rutledge
Lexington, KY
Kathy is the Operation Outcry Kentucky State Leader
Dear Editors,
I am grateful this exchange is making its way across the internet and exposing the unconcerned nature of the pro choice agenda, specifically that of MS Magazine. However, it saddens me that unsuspecting women, because of biased "journalism" like yours, may go on to make uniformed choices when they had an opportunity to truly be cared for and fully informed by women like yourself who say they "care." Thankfully, for many, your lack of concern is now exposed.
May it be that you come to desire fairness and full information for all women.
Caron Strong
Operation Outcry National Director
Dear Ms. Editor,
Yes I have had an abortion; actually 7. I was 15 at the first and 26 at the last. I was more than happy to exercise my American right to choose and seek out abortion-on-demand as the perfect answer for my problems.
I am now 44. My life experiences and there lack of, have proven to me, that these choices have turned out to be anything but perfect.
I know all too well how my abortions have devastated relationships in my life. My 5 living children live daily with the death of their 7 siblings through their emotionally unhealthy parents. Not only do we grieve the loss of our children but our grandchildren and even great grandchildren. The loss has been great – all sacrificed on my alter of pro-Joyce. What seemed so right at the time is nothing but wrong.
In memory of my dead 7 baby boys, and their children, and their children; I cannot sign your petition.
Joyce Zounis, Colorado
Joyce is director of Touched by Truth and the former national director of Operation Outcry
Dear Editor,
I was informed that you are asking women to write about their abortion experience. I had an abortion was I was 15 years old one month shy of my 16th birthday in 1974 and it was one of the worst decisions of my life. I hid the fact that I was pregnant from my parents and sought help and assistance from a well meaning older friend who impersonated my mother and signed me into the a clue what to expect. No one at the clinic talked to me about anything – always when I go to the doctor for any kind of a procedure they tell me what to expect and say something like “this won’t hurt” or “you’ll feel some pressure” or “this might pinch a little”, but they didn’t tell me anything. I was taken back to a room asked to remove my clothes and slip on a gown and the nurse placed my feet in stirrups. And then it started – and it was horrible.
I became very dizzy afterward and got sick on the way home. I started hemorrhaging and since I hadn’t told my parents what I had done I laid there in the bathroom scared to death. I was bleeding so bad it soaked my blue jeans from my waist to my ankles, but I wouldn’t tell my mother what was going on. As I look back I am fortunate to still be alive because I could have bled to death and no one would have been the wiser.
Being a mother now I know at 15 years old I was not at all equipped to make any kind of life changing decision and I needed my parents to help me, but I robbed them of that and consequently I robbed myself of a wise informed decision. You see, since I was so young at the time I didn’t keep up with current events and I hadn’t even heard the word “abortion,” but when I found out I was pregnant my older friend (a woman who I babysat for) said we could do something about it and “fix it”. That was music to my ears because I was scared and frightened my parents would find out and I would disappoint them. All I knew was I was pregnant and I didn’t want to be – I never thought about it in terms of a “baby” until I was on the table and in the middle of the procedure I began to cry thinking I was killing my baby, but it was too late. I wish abortion had never been legal in the first place and I would have never done it.
Let me just say I came from a very loving home, but I didn’t want to disappoint my parents and so I remained silent. Fear gripped me then and it continued to grip me for 30 years as I lived with the shame and guilt of it all. I went on to marry the father of my aborted child, but our relationship was never the same and we ended up divorced, but not before my son was born. After the abortion I had such a longing for a child it almost consumed me and everything I did so I got pregnant on purpose much to my husbands displeasure. I later found out I was infertile – I had surgery to remove vast amounts of scar tissue from my uterus. However my tubes were also scarred shut and I was never able to conceive again. Most likely this was due to the abortion.
A decision I made at 15 (which I wasn’t equipped to do) adversely changed the course of my life forever.
I would never recommend abortion to anyone – I’ve talked to many women who have had abortions and I haven’t found one that would do it again. Actually I did meet one woman who said she would and then later changed her mind and has since cried many tears.
I hope you print this article because women need to know the risks and all involved in the abortion, and I simply don’t understand why we are not given all the facts and then we can make wise “choices” for ourselves. If we are suppose to have a right and a choice it should be with full knowledge – I’ve heard they won’t even allow women to view the sonogram – and I have to ask why – what are the afraid of? It seems to me that the abortion industry is only concerned about the bottom line – money – and not about women and helping them. If they really cared about us then they would give us all the information they possibly could – allowing for wise informed decisions.
Sincerely,
Dawn Jackson
Dawn is the San Antonio Operation Outcry City Leader |
